How To Up Your Self Love Game!

It might sound a little weird, but have you ever thought about HOW you actually show yourself love?

When it comes down to it, the relationship you have with yourself is more important than any other on the planet, so by tweaking a relationship concept called “The 5 love languages” (Based on a book by Gary Chapman) we can understand how we like to give and receive love and apply this to our self-care routine.

The idea behind the Love Languages is that in order to connect with your loved ones and create stronger emotional connectedness (not just with romantic partners, but friends and family too!) it’s important to get to know each others’ preferences in both giving and receiving love.

But this doesn’t just apply to others – even if you’re a single pringle or have zero issues connecting within your relationships.

It’s still helpful to understand what YOUR Love Language is, because in order to truly be a self-loving, confident, and peaceful person, you need to be able to show that love to yourself in a meaningful way!

Your first step today is to identify your Love Language(s), if you don’t already know! The below quiz will detail how much of each love language resonates with you (usually there are 2-3 key love languages that we most prefer), and if you’ve never done this before, you’re about to understand yourself SO much more!

The 5 Love Languages are:

  • Physical Touch – Kinda goes without saying, but cuddles, sexual intimacy, hand holding and even just that cute little brush-your-hair-behind-your-ear thing that partners do (swoon)
  • Words of Affirmation – “I love you” is obviously a big one here, but any kind of verbal affirmation, even as simple as a “thank you” or “I appreciate you” falls into this category.
  • Acts of Service – handy things around the house, or any kind of service to make your partner’s life easier, or vice versa
  • Receiving/Giving Gifts – This could be thoughtful presents or money spent, or even just simple things like buying your favourite ice cream even if it’s not their go-to flavour.
  • Quality Time – Spending time with your loved one, with undivided attention.

So if you’re not sure what yours are, do the quiz here –

Once you know the love languages you resonate with most, on to step 2:

How to Love Yourself Using Your Love Language:

If your love language is: Words of Affirmation, you can –

  • Recite positive affirmations
  • Read through quotes that resonate with you
  • Write a list of compliments/things you like about yourself
  • Journalling
  • Read a self-development book

If your love language is: Acts of Service, you can –

  • Spend time cooking yourself a meal you love
  • Get your hair/nails done
  • Delegate/outsource some chores
  • Clean/organise a room in your house
  • Book in for a personal training session, coaching call, or therapy appointment

If your love language is: Physical Touch, you can –

  • Do your skincare routine
  • Get a massage
  • Move your body in a way that feels good, or spend time stretching
  • Scrub + moisturize your body
  • Self-touch (you feel me!)

If your love language is: Quality Time, you can –

  • Sit and watch a sunrise or sunset
  • Take 30 mins alone to switch off from technology
  • Go on a hike or scenic walk
  • Have a bubble bath or take ~that~ shower
  • Use a guided meditation

If your love language is: Receiving/Giving Gifts, you can –

  • Buy yourself a new outfit
  • Order your very favourite meal for dinner
  • Invest in a course/workshop to level up
  • Book a trip/weekend getaway
  • Create a self-care toolbox with your fave items like candles, books, snacks etc

We all need different things to feel loved, and we all express love in our unique little way.

So don’t forget to show love to yourself! And HOW you do that is super important, so have a think about the ways you like to receive + give love within a relationship, so you can apply that to your self-care practices, and truly give yourself the love you deserve!


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